5 Steps to Personal Growth
At the risk of over-simplifying what is a life-long pursuit that most of us never “finish”, here is what I think we all need to master, to have a fighting chance.
1. Readiness Personal growth requires “will power”, not “won’t power”. Sometimes life pushes you into change whether you are ready or not. If you are not ready, you may find comfort in denying your situation. That can work well for a while, but it won’t work forever. What could you do to help get yourself ready? Sometimes reaching out for help or support is a good way to start.
2. Self-awareness There are several ways to increase your self-awareness. “Self-study” (Swadhyaya) is where it starts. Develop your skills around “noticing yourself in the moment”. What is your physical, mental and emotional response to the things that you experience? Other ways to develop self-awareness include feedback from others; gathering information through books and other learning resources; put yourself into unfamiliar situations and see how you go; take a credible diagnostic survey (seek advice on this); enlist a coach.
3. Letting go Until you let go of the things that keep you stuck it is difficult to grow and learn new ways of seeing and believing. I think this is perhaps the hardest step because sometimes you can be so attached to something being a certain way, you can’t see better, alternate possibilities. The more self-awareness you have, the easier it can be to identify what you need to let go of. This can result in a real “aha” moment as you gain clarity and a sense of freedom at the same time. Techniques for letting go include Re-storying; acceptance (ironically); meditation; a symbolic ceremony; saying “no”. It’s about what works for you, so explore….
Robina Courtin offers wonderful insight into th is topic via this You Tube: www.youtube.com/watch?gl=AU&hl=en-GB&v=nasIq4E9nNg
4. Choice When you do detach, different possibilities will open up to you. Choices you hadn’t thought of or didn’t think were available to you, will present themselves. Your task is to choose the most realistic ones for you – not what others say you should choose. Decide what you are ready for and then push yourself a bit more. Find the courage to step into the choices that feel just a bit too big as well as the obvious ones.
Try this technique: “if I were 10% more X, what would I choose?”
Eg. If I were 10% more courageous I would choose to have that conversation I have been avoiding.
What if you were 20% more????
5. Step-in to what you have chosen for yourself and make it part of who you are. What is the good stuff you have discovered and created? This is what you want to take forward, do more with, draw on more often, and wear like a glove. Savour your success and allow the contentment it brings.
It’s like the concept of planting and harvesting. You have done the hard work that goes into creating fertile ground, then planting and nurturing. When it comes time, you harvest the good stuff – what you can use and perhaps keep some in storage.
You don’t have to get it perfect first time around. You just have to start. Remember it is a pursuit that lasts a life-time!
I know I write all this as if it were a piece of cake. It rarely is. So as I keep saying: persist, but be kind to yourself along the way. Do your very best and it will come!