Avoid the Distracting Issue

Don’t go down the rabbit hole. Get to the Real Issue.

Do you know the kind of rabbit hole I mean? You ask someone, or a group of people what the “issue” is, and they tell you. You accept it at face value, and with good intent you begin to work to resolve the issue and find a solution.

But when you stop to reflect, you’re in a very strange place. A place that doesn’t make sense: you haven’t progressed, your wheels are spinning, you’re stuck and can’t find a way forward. You have ended up down a rabbit hole and can’t see the way out.

It’s most likely you have been fed a distracting issue, so are not exploring the real issue, and are therefore unlikely to find a meaningful solution.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. There is usually a good reason, or a myriad of reasons, why this happens.

The distracting issue can sound perfectly feasible, delivered by a perfectly rational and intelligent “other” who is closer to the issue than you.

So why not take what they tell you at face value?

Sometimes the distracting issue is a deliberate (unconscious?) decoy to avoid the discomfort of raising and unravelling the real issue. It may be convenient and more comfortable for everyone to pretend. Especially if no one has any idea how to articulate, let alone fix, the real issue.

An individual may fear being isolated if they say what they think is really going on. So, it’s safer to offer up a distraction that is more palatable, in line with the accepted narrative.

Maybe it’s always been the story of the individual, the group, the organisation. Who are you to question it, despite what your gut (or eyes) is telling you?

It might be that the real issue is fraught with all sorts of complications and perceived consequences. And no one wants to go there…

But in the end, there is little to be gained by avoiding the real issue. Nothing gets resolved and it limits opportunity for growth, development and progress. (At its worst it can bring down entire organisations, when everyone chooses to pretend and not challenge or question when things don’t look or “smell” right).

Here’s one way to avoid going down the rabbit hole.

There are several ways to get to the real issue, but here is one I often use. Please remember, you are dealing with something that is probably complex, with multiple contributing factors and a context that you need to be alert to.

Begin by asking what someone (or an organisation) wants to happen/be different and why. Keep asking questions that explore the around the distracting issue. You can never ask “why” too many times… It can help you (and others) to gently uncover the real issue and allow the work to commence.

Short story to demonstrate my point

I was once asked by a client to help her team come up with shared goals and a strategy for delivering on those

She was the new leader of the team, new to the organisation and keen to build a cohesive team. So, could I facilitate a two-day planning meeting for them all? Establish shared goals, a plan, etc.goals.

Not an uncommon problem, not an uncommon request, always good to have shared goals, etc. So why not take it at face value?

I’ve been down too many rabbit holes to just jump into the first one I’m shown without doing some surveillance work, to test for the real issue.it at face value?

In this instance, that meant meeting with each individual team member (8pax) and asking them about the lack of team coherence. They (nearly) all followed the party line and fed me the distracting issue. i.e. an absence of shared goals meant a planning workshop was needed. But I still had that “things are not as they seem” feeling…

When I started switching the questions to: “What do you want to be different? Why? What is your idea of a cohesive team? What would shared goals change or achieve? How could things be better?” etc., the answers began to shed light on a different, more real, more complex, more uncomfortable issue.

There were a lot of comments about honest conversations, people not willing to do things differently, a need for better working relationships. And, a need for people to be forgiven... (not a usual issue)

The real issue that emerged, with some persistence, was a small group of team members deeply ashamed about their indirect role in an awful case of bullying several years earlier. They felt unable to move on and re- connect with the team, so stayed on the fringes. Unable to look themselves and each other in the eye. In the absence of the real issue being dealt with years earlier, they had withdrawn and created a culture of working in isolation rather than face to face and be reminded of the hurt they had caused. But new team members had no idea of this history and labelled them difficult, arrogant, etc.

The most useful work the team could do was not Strategic Planning (distracting issue), but the more personal, more courageous work of having a real conversation to reveal and confront the real issue and begin the healing process.

Of course, not all distracting issues will be so well hidden and difficult to work with. They come in all shapes and sizes, but there is always a reason (sometimes irrational) for people to be avoiding an issue.

A Giant Hare or a Kangaroo?

Imagine you have just joined a group who are speaking and behaving as if this is a Giant Hare. Nods all around… “Yep, that’s a hare for sure”

It’s clear to you, in order to fit in, you should also act “as if” this is a Giant Hare and head down the rabbit hole with everyone else.

Are you courageous enough to question and be curious about seeing more of the whole picture?

Are you courageous enough to suggest it’s a Kangaroo? And that the Joey in the pouch (actual evidence) is a bit of a give-away…!?

Not taking things on face value, questioning what’s presented to you and seeking to find the Real Issue can be a difficult stance to take.

But more often than not people are relieved to arrive back in the real world and work with the Real Issue – as long as they feel supported and equipped with ways to move forward and create a better future.